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公交车上的闹剧 6人小品
道具:方向盘,几个凳子,挎包,白菜包
演员:小孩,司机(男三号),售票员(女二号),女青年(女一号),小伙子(男一号),旅客(男二号),客串 剧本:陈树彬,刘梅等五年级组全体人员 类型;三幕情景短剧
时间:2005年12月21日
第一幕:上车
司机:转动方向盘做停车的动作.售票员:各位旅客,到站啦,先下后上排好队,请大家注意秩序!（湖南方言）
女青年:瞧,瞧,咱运气来了挡也挡不住,轮到我第一个上车,哈哈,这儿正好有座位,真是老天有眼哪!.(抱着一大包白菜上了蹒跚地上了车,作高兴状.)小伙子:唉,唉,司机同志,请先别关门.(最后一个急匆匆地上了车.)售票员:各位旅客，买票啦!(挎着包拿出一摞票据.)（四川话）女青年:到“万家乐”商场多少钱? 售票员:一元钱.女青年:咦,怎么涨价了,原先不是九毛吗? 售票员:那是三个月以前的价,现在是春节期间.早就涨价了,难道你不知道吗? 女青年:俺好久没有出门子了,哪晓得这等邪撇子事.(从口袋内掏出一元钱硬币递给售票员)小伙子:喂小姐,到南宫房小区多少钱? 售票员:什么小姐小姐的,同志,请你说话注意点分寸行不行?要是你这么一说,别人还以为我是干那个的呢?哼!(边说边作生气状)故意瞪了小伙子一眼.小伙子:对不起,我说得不是那个意思,你千万别误会了,我的姑奶奶„„
售票员:姑奶奶也是你随便叫的吗?狗嘴里吐不出象牙来.恶心.废话少说,快拿一块钱来,你到终点站下车就行了.(有点不耐烦了)（广东方言）小伙子:给,谢谢哈(嬉皮笑脸)售票员:真是时代不同了，别惹我，忙着哩！.第二幕:车内
司机:前面路上有个小孩,我要拐弯,你给旅客们说说.(悄悄地给旁边的售票员说)售票员:各位旅（LU）客请注意了,车子前面要拐（GUAN）弯,请大家抓好头上面的塑料拐拐.(用山东方言说道)大家赶紧齐动手去抓塑料拐拐。
小伙子:这儿有个窝正好可以坐下。嘿嘿！(慌忙抢女青年身旁的座位)女青年:去去去，靠边站，这是俺的窝。
客串：这棵（KUO）大白（BEI）菜真嫩（NUN），从哪儿买的？ 女青年：自家种的，拿到商场去卖。
小伙子:什么白菜萝卜的？这都什么年代了,还兴用白菜来占窝的?(没好气地说)女青年:你说啥什么年代呀,什么叫女士优先懂不？是我先来的,谁叫你上来得晚呢.小伙子:上来得晚就倒霉呀?看看座位上面有你的名字了不? 女青年:你这人咋这样喜欢强词夺理呢（NI）,俗话说”好男不跟女斗”,没想到你这人这么没品位!小伙子:你说谁呢,乡巴佬！
女青年:乡下人怎么了，瞧不起咱乡下人呀？想当年毛主席不也是乡下人呀？乡下从怎么招你惹你了。瞧你那小样,我还看你不是东西呢（NI）小伙子:我本来就不是东西,是人,Do you know? 售票员:别吵啦请保持安静!（普通话）司机:拐弯喽!售票员:各位抓紧塑料拐拐啦!(河南方言)女青年:哎呀,谁瞎了眼撞到我的胳了捭（BAI）子了.哎哟!小伙子:活该!这回遭报应了吧?(自言自语道)女青年:是你呗？怎么想乘机占我的便宜不成? 小伙子:真是“窦娥冤”哪!我站得好好的,我又没碰你!看我离你远着呢.(努力争辩着)旅客:不好意思,对不起,刚才车转弯时,我没掌握好平拐拐，碰着你的人是我.(主动站出来承认错误)女青年:没关系,下次注意就行了（温柔地说）.瞧瞧人家多有礼貌,不像某些人那么差劲.（故意没好气）
小伙子:你以为我没听见,你是说我差劲吗?还没你差劲呢,居然还好意思把座位占了一路？.咱俩到底谁差劲,让大家评一评理.瞧一瞧，看一看啦！
售票员:好了,好了,安静,安静,大家都少说一句不就成了,大过年的,真是的.“万家乐”车站马上就要到了,要下车的同志请整理好东西，准备下车.（湖南方言）
第三幕:下车
女青年:司机同志,我要下车.(急着说)司机:好,等我停稳了你再下,别落下拿自己的行李(回过头来说道)女青年:喂,你们过来坐我的座位,我就要下车了.某些人想坐偏不给他坐.哼!(故意装腔作势地问两位客串)小伙子:你说谁呢？,男子汉大丈夫,能屈也能伸——.(冲着女青年说做着动作)嘎吱一声,车停了下来.售票员:各位旅（LU）客,到站啦!别挤啦!（山东方言）女青年提着白菜包下车,客串坐上座位,小伙子依然站着.小伙子：今天真他妈倒八辈子霉了，遇上了这样一个泼妇。唉，晦气，晦气！
英语话剧.docx 的翻译
Buses farcePieces
Props: steering wheel, a few stools, bag, bag cabbage Cast: children, the driver(male三号), conductor(female二号), young women(female lead), the young man(male lead), paengers(male二号), guest
Screenplay: Chen Shubin, Liu Mei, so all the staff of the fifth grade group
Type;scenes drama in three acts
Time: December 21, 2005
Act I: on the train
Driver: stop turning the steering wheel to do the action.Conductor: Dear paengers, the station you, before you get on line up, please note the order!(Hunan dialect)
Young women: Look, look, we can not impede luck came, my first turn on the car, ha ha, just a seat here is really what God has eyes!.(Holding a large bag of cabbage on a staggered to the car, as flattered.)
Boy: Well, well, the driver comrades, please do not close.(The last rush to the car.)
Conductor: Dear paengers, buying it!(Slung bag out of a pile of bills.)(Sichuan dialect)
Young women: to the “Macro” How much shopping? Conductor: a dollar.Young woman: Hey, how prices, and the original is not ninety it?
Conductor: That was three months ago the price, it is during the Spring Festival.Long prices, do not you know?
Young woman: I do not go out for a long time child, and which know that such evil things handed.(Took out a dollar coin from his pocket and handed the conductor)
Boy: Hey lady, how much Housing Area to the palace?
Conductor: What Mi Mi, gay, please note that point measured to talk to you right? If you said, people thought I was doing that for? Ah!(Said as he as angry like)a willful young man stared.Boy: I'm sorry, I did not mean it is right, you do not get me wrong, my aunt......Conductor: grandaunt is you just call it? Dog to bark.Nausea.Without further ado, take a piece of quick money, you get off on the line to the terminal.(A little impatient)(Guangdong dialect)
Boy: to, thank Kazakhstan(Xipixiaolian)
Conductor: What time is different, Do not me with me, busy with miles!.Act II: the car
Drivers: the road in front of a child, I want to turn, you talk to the paengers.(Quietly next to the conductor said)
Conductor: Members Tour(LU)paengers please note, the car in front to Po(GUAN)bend, please do a good job head above the plastic Shui Po.(Said with Shandong dialect)
We quickly grasp hands together plastic Shui Po.Boy: Here is a nest just to sit down.Hey!(Hurriedly grab a seat beside young women)
Young women: go, go, step aside, this is me my nest.Guest: tree(KUO)white(BEI)food is so tender(NUN), from where did you buy? Young women: their own kinds, and get the mall to sell.Boy: What cabbage radish? This is what year, and also to account for Xing nest with cabbage?(Snappily said)
Young women: What did you say ah's, Ladies first understand what is not? I first came, who told you to come on the night.Boy: bad luck comes late on it? See above seats do not have your name?
Young women: Do you like loud noise like a lame argument that people do(NI), the saying goes, “Good men do not fight with the woman,” you did not expect this man so tastele!
Boy: Who do you say, hillbilly!
Young women: how the country folk, country people we despise it? I remember when Chairman Mao is also the country folk do not you? Country how provoke you from the.Look at your sample, I also see something you do not(NI)Boy: I'm not a thing is man, Do you know?
CONDUCTOR: Please keep quiet hush friends!(Mandarin)
Driver: turning myself!
Conductor: you pay close attention to plastic Shui Po it!(Henan dialect)
Young woman: Oh, who hit my armpit a blind weed(BAI)son of the.Ouch!
Boy: deserve!This time retribution, right?(To himself)
Young women: are you chanting? How to take advantage of advantage of me not a?
Boy: really “Snow in Midsummer” What!I stand good, I did not touch you!Look at me long way away from you.(Hard to argue with)
Paenger: Sorry, sorry, just cars turning a corner, I did not grasp the level Shui Po, who bumped you is me.(To come forward to admit its mistakes)
Young women: Do not worry, the next note on the line(gently).Look at people more polite, unlike some people so bad.(Intentional snappily)
Boy: Do you think I did not hear, you say I bad? Bad you do not, even had the nerve to account for the seat all the way?.We two in the end who is poor, so that everyone aement of a judge.And see, take a look at it!
Conductor: Well, well, quiet, quiet, the le we are not to become a big New Year's, really.“Macro” station is coming soon, to get off the gay thing, please collated, ready to get off.(Hunan dialect)
Act III: get off
Young women: the driver comrades, I want to get off.(Hastened)
Driver: Well, so I completely stopped and then the next you do not leave to take their own luggage(back for the Road)
Young woman: Hey, you over my seat, I'll get off.Some people want to take impartial to him to sit.Humph!(Deliberate posturing to ask two guest)
Boy: You said who? , MAN, can also be extended--.Qu(directed at young women said that doing the action)
Creaks, the car stopped.Conductor: Members Tour(LU)paengers, the station it!Do not crowd it!(Shandong dialect)Young woman carrying her bag off cabbage, get guest seat, the young man is still standing.Boy: Eight life today, and broken down damn, they encountered such a bitch.Well, bad luck, bad luck!
Cast Mr.Green Mi Blue Police Nurse Doctor Daughter------------------
Scene I(Green Garden St.)(During the rush hours, when the street is crowded , Mr.Green is driving past the red light , unexpectedly a car accident happens...Two people came out of their cars angrily...)Mi Blue: Oh!It's you, Mr.Green...Do you know how to drive your car? Mr.Green: You see that I was driving acro the road!Wow!There is a dent on my beloved BENZ.Mi Blue: My BMW has got a dent too, you should compensate me.(While they are quarrelling, later on, the police comes.)Police: What's happened? Mr.Green: She has bumped into my car!Mi Blue: No!It is himself that drove past the red light...(Quarrel again...)Police: Has any one been injured? Mr.Green: I feel headache , foot ache , ache very much.Mi Blue: I ache all over too.(Both of them mourn painfully...)Police: Then I'll call an ambulance(O-E-O-E...).------------------
Scene II(Blue Sky Hospital-Emergency)(Ambulance sends them to the hospital)Nurse: Who is injured?(Both of them say it is themselves at the same time...)Nurse: What's your name, Mr.? Mr.Green: Call me DPP Green.Nurse:(Unhappy facial expreion)Oh!Go to the corner and sit there.Mr.Green: But...(nurse interrupts)Nurse: Go!Don't speak any words.....what's your name, Mi? Mi Blue: My name is KMT Blue.Nurse:(gentle and smiles)Oh, Mi this side, please.Would you tell me how you are feeling? Mi Blue: Oh!I ache all over...Nurse: OK!I'll help you stop the pain first, and then the doctor will treat you in a while.(Mr.Green comes over to require medical treatment, but rejected)Mr.Green: Nurse, I...I feel...Nurse: Wait there, didn't you hear me?(Mr.Green goes back helplely, the doctor comes over at this moment...)Nurse: The young lady called KMT Blue...KMT Blue.Doctor: Ok!I see...How are you, Mi? Mi Blue: I got an car accident and I ache all over...Doctor:(Check)It's ok...don't worry about it.I'll give you some medicine.You'll get well soon......Mi Blue: Thank you, doctor..(Mi Blue leaves.)Doctor: Next one.(Mr.Green comes in and Dr.reads his medical record)You are called DPP Green!Mr.Green: Yeah!Any problem with that ? Doctor: Hmm...(Consider)DPP Green(Raise up voice)? What's wrong with you? Mr.Green: I ache all over-headache, toothache and foot ache(The doctor interrupts him impatiently)...Doctor: I...I...I see, Mi Lin – give Mr.Green an injection...Mr.Green: What? An injection?(Nurse takes out the syringe)Nurse: Where do you want to inject?(Mr.Green is frightened and shivering...)Mr.Green: Well, doctor...that...I do not ache anymore, I...I want to leave.Nurse: Wait!Don't go...(Nurse pulls Mr.Green and forces him to enter the injection room)Mr.Green: Wow!......That hurts!(Mi Blue goes out of the emergency room, but Mr.Green leaves in terrible pain.)
AprilFool'sDay N: Many years ago, on April 1, a body had birth.His father called him “foolman”, nobody like him except his mother.How time flies!F: Mum, I'm eithteen years old, so I will leave this family.Mum: All right, but please see me at times.This is a bottle of drink, a piece of dry bread.Remember: take good care of yourself, bye!N: He came to a forest, and met an ugly man.U: Hello!I'm very hungry and thirsty, could you give me something to drink and eat, please? F: Ok, here.U: Oh, thanks very much!Now, I will go.Oh, this stick is for you, it will bring luck to you.Good luck!N: The foolman reached a restaurant, the bo had two daughters, they found the stick very brightly.D1: Oh, how beautiful it is!I want it, it's great！!（上前抓木棒，却被粘在上面）Oh!Dear!I can't leave it!（吃惊地）
D2: Sister, what are you doing there? Do you want this stick yourself? No, I will get a part of it!We are parent's daughters, I must get a part of it like you!（走向木棒）
D1: Don't come!Don't come!It's dangerous!D2: You can come, so I can come, too!（也被粘在木棒上）Oh, my god!What's wrong with me? D1: What a pity!N: Foolman didn't mind at all, after the meal he took the stick leave the restaurant.Of course, two girl followed him.In the field they met an old scientist.S: Oh!Terrible!You two girls follow a boy.How silly of you!I will take you back home, and take the boy to the police station.（抓stick ,也被粘住）Oh!Bad luck!Terrible!N: A few days later, they got to a strange country.The king had a daughter, but she never smiled or laughed.King: Who can make her smile or laugh, she'll be his wife.F: Let me try , Perhaps I can.N: Then they went to see her.She saw foolman and his friends laughed and laughed.k: Ok, you make her laugh, now let us look at your 生辰八字.Which day is your birthday? F: April 1.转自：
K: Oh!What a great boy!Do you know my country's name? Let me tell you: it called “Fool World”!Very suits you, right?!N: The result is ——The follman lived happily with his wife until they died.That is why we now have a holiday called : “April Fool”.
