恋情难以修成正果？注意20个危险信号由刀豆文库小编整理，希望给你工作、学习、生活带来方便，猜你可能喜欢“恋爱中20个问题不能问”。
恋情难以修成正果？注意20个危险信号
Feel like you can't get him(or yourself)to commit? There might have been red flags along the way that you mied.Here's how to tell if your relationship is not on the right track.你觉得男友（或自己）难以对恋情从一而终？在恋情发展的道路上或许有许多危险信号。下面的方法可以帮你辨别恋情是否偏离了正确的轨道。
1.You never talk about the future 从不探讨未来
It's great to live in the moment, but if you don’t make plans for what's next, your relationship could end up being short-term.活在当下固然不错，然而，如果不为将来制定计划，你们的恋情注定只是昙花一现。“Making future plans is a healthy ingredient for a growing relationship,” says Amy Levine, sex coach and founder of Ignite Your Pleasure.“It’s also an indicator of the commitment you have to each other.”
艾米•莱文是一位性指导，也是“点燃你的快乐”机构的创始人。她说，“为将来制定计划是恋情发展的健康要素，也是你们相互忠诚的指示器。” 2.He's told you that he's not the marrying kind 他说不想结婚
This seem like an obvious barrier to a serious relationship, but many women ignore it when men say this, thinking they can change him.It's time to start taking him at face value.这似乎是通往认真的恋情非常明显的障碍，但是当男性这样说的时候，许多女性总是选择忽略，认为她们可以改造男友。从现在开始，对男人就要以貌取人。
“Men repeatedly tell women they are simple beings,” says Levine.“If he shows you or tells you who he is, then believe him.It will save you a ton of time and energy.Wake up!You’re Mrs.Right Now, not the future Mrs.[insert his last name here].”
莱文说，“男人总是告诉女人他们是简单的生物。如果他向你表现或者告诉你他是什么样的人，那就相信他。这样会为你节约很多时间和精力。醒醒吧！你只是他现在的意中人，而不是他将来的妻子。”
3.You're keeping other guys on the back burner 与其他人藕断丝连 Don't expect a commitment until you take the plunge and jump in with both feet!不要期望对方忠诚，除非你自己矢志不渝，全心全意地对待这段恋情！
“Having other men in the periphery is often an indication that you know the main guy isn't the best match for you,” says Levine.“Or that you're scared to take the leap of faith into intimacy.”
“与其他男人藕断丝连通常意味着你知道现任男友并不是最适合你的，”莱文说。“或者你害怕信仰跨越到亲密。”
4.You have nothing in common except sex 除了性生活外没有共同点
If all you have in common is what happens between the sheets it may be hard to achieve the level of intimacy you really desire.如果你们仅仅在滚床单的时候才有共同点，那么你们的恋情很难达到自己渴望的亲密程度。“Hot sex is more than satisfying and can give you a perpetual glow, but it’s not enough to make for a healthy balanced relationship,” says Levine.“和谐的性爱非常令人满意，也可以让你永葆青春的光彩，但是对于维系健康平衡的恋情来说是远远不够的。”莱文说。
5.You have lots in common, but no sex life 有很多共同语言，但性生活不和谐
If you’re miing this one important ingredient in your relationship, it’s likely there will be no next level.如果恋情中这个重要因素不能满足，那么你们的关系或许难以获得进展。“You don’t need another friend or a future roommate,” says Levine.“A solid relationship usually encompaes a best friend and lover.”
“你需要的并不是又一位朋友或者未来的室友。”莱文说。“稳定的恋情通常把朋友和恋人完美地结合起来。” 6.You live together 未婚同居
If you’re already doing all the stuff that goes with married life without the formal commitment, there may be no motivation to move things to the next level.如果你们还没结婚就已经过着和已婚人士别无二致的生活，那么你们的恋情也没有继续发展的动机了。
“The old saying ‘why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?’ says a lot,” according to Levine.“Thinking of us as cows is degrading, but the overall meaning makes sense.Men are more likely to hold off from moving a relationship forward when they’re content and already getting what they want.”
莱文表示，“有一句谚语说，‘如果能得到免费的牛奶，为什么还要买牛呢？’这句话说明了很多问题。把我们自己比作牛或许有点贬低自己，但是整体的意思却是有道理的。当男人已经非常满意，别无所求，他们就不想让恋情更进一步。” 7.His parents are divorced 对方父母离异
Sometimes parents can give us a negative idea of what marriage is or instill a lack of trust in us through their actions.“Our relationship role models are often our blueprint,” says Levine.“It may be all he knows.”
有时父母使我们对婚姻产生消极的观念，或者他们的行为让我们对婚姻缺乏信任。“我们的恋爱榜样通常决定我们的未来。”莱文说。“他知道的或许只有这些。”
If your man feels this way, it’s important to talk through his iues and help him understand that your relationship is something totally different.如果你的男友有这样的想法，必须针对这个问题跟他促膝交谈，帮助他明白你们的恋情和他的父母是完全不同的。
8.None of his friends are married 他的朋友全是单身
If his pals aren’t in serious relationships, he may be le motivated to take the leap.如果他的朋友都没有认真发展一段感情，那么，你的男友也没有太大的动力跨越这个圈子。“If his friends all have a bachelor mentality, there is a good chance it can rub off on him, too,” says Levine.“Who we surround ourselves with often explains our behaviors.”
“如果他的朋友全都崇尚单身，那么这种情绪也极有可能传染给他。”莱文说，“我们周围是什么样的朋友通常能够映射我们自己的行为。” 9.You’re both acting like you’re single 两人都保持单身时的行为
Even though you’re coupled you’re still staying out ’til all hours, hanging out with friends more than each.If you want a more serious relationship, you both need to approach the relationship with an “us” instead of “me” mentality.即使你们正在恋爱，却仍然彻夜不归，与朋友在一起的时间超过陪伴恋人的时间。如果你们想要更加认真严肃的恋情，两人都应该以“我们如何”而不是“我如何”的心态来对待感情。
“If you’re enjoying other people’s company in groups more than the two of you being alone, you’re likely not content with what you have together,” says Levine.“如果你喜欢和许多其他人在一起超过两人独处，你可能对两人的相处模式不满意。”莱文说。
10.You don’t make time for the relationship 不愿为恋情付出时间
If one or both of you is putting work, family or friends first, it’s time to get your priorities straight if you want stay together.假如其中一人或两人都把工作，家人或朋友放在首位，如果想要继续发展的话，是时候调整重心了。
“If your relationship isn’t your priority, then your relationship is likely not being nourished, which can create resentment and distance,” says Levine.“如果恋情不是你的优先事项，那么你们的恋情可能没有得到悉心呵护，这会导致怨恨和距离。”莱文说。
11.You haven’t made your desires clear 未明确表达心中渴望 If he doesn’t know how you really feel, he may not understand that moving things forward is important to you.So tell him!如果他不知道你的真实感受，那么他或许也不能理解恋情进一步发展对你的重要性。坦白告诉他！
“You should always make what you want clear from the very beginning,” says matchmaker Siggy Flicker.“You don’t want to waste your time and not be true to yourself.You shouldn’t stay with a man if you’re afraid of telling him what you need and want.”
“你从最开始就应该明确说出自己想要的。”赛吉•弗利克说。“你不想浪费时间，不想掩饰真我。如果你不敢告诉他你需要什么，想要什么，那就不应该和他在一起。” 12.You keep things casual 太随便
Because you’re afraid of scaring him off, you’ve given him the idea that you could take him or leave him.This relationship will go nowhere fast until you come clean.担心把他吓怕了，所以给他造成你觉得他可有可无的错觉。赶紧坦白承认吧，否则你们的恋情终将夭折。
“Being scared means that you are now giving that person too much credit and power that he doesn’t deserve,” says Flicker.“You have to lead with your true self from the very beginning and if he doesn’t like you for who you are, then tell them to go 'to the left!'”(Shout out to Beyonce).“害怕意味着你给了对方太多的信任和他不应得的权利。”弗利克说。“你必须从一开始就表现出真我，如果他不喜欢你的本来面目，那就告诉他‘出门左转！’”（歌手碧昂丝有一首歌曲“irreplaceable”，其中有一句多次重复的歌词就是“to the left”。）13.You’re settling 把他作为备胎
You know he’s not the one, but you’re keeping him around as a backup plan.But this is one plan that will never lead to a happy ending.你知道他并不是合适的对象，却仍然不肯分手，把他作为备胎。但是这样永远不会迎来美满的结局。
“This is an act of desperation that will only lead to depreion,” says Flicker.“You are now setting yourself up to fail.I would rather be home with a green mask on my face than with a partner I had no chemistry with or desire to be with in life.” “这是一种绝望的行为，只会导致沮丧。”弗利克说。“你已经为自己安排好失败的结局了。我宁肯戴上面具一个人在家，也不想跟一个不来电，不感兴趣的伴侣一起共度余生。” 14.You’ve skipped over traditional 'steps' 略过传统程序
If you’ve mied important milestones such as calling each other boyfriend/girlfriend or saying I love you, then you may be way off the path toward the next level of your relationship.Start making up for lost time now — even if it means going on your first date again!如果你错过了重要的里程碑，比如亲密地称呼对方为男友或女友，或者从未说过“我爱你”，那么你就和恋情升温背道而驰了。从现在开始弥补——即使意味着第一次约会重演！There are many reasons couples skip over the traditional steps.Maybe you're in a long distance relationship, or you got off to a whirlwind start and threw caution to the wind.In any case, miing these 'checkpoints' means you both lose the chance to ae the relationship and look at your partnership in a more serious light.情侣们略过传统的步骤有许多原因。或许你们是异地恋，或者你们的恋情进展像旋风一样快，不顾一切。无论是哪种情况，错过这些“关卡”意味着双方都失去了评估恋情，以更严肃的角度看待恋情的机会。
“Anything that happens too fast, ends just as fast,” says Flicker.“任何事情都是开始得越快，结束得越快。”弗利克说。15.You haven’t traveled together 从未一起旅行
Traveling together forces you to navigate new territory and experience exciting and unfamiliar situations as a couple.It can be an eential step in really getting to know your partner.一起旅行促使两人作为情侣探索新的领域，经历心动和新鲜的环境。这是深入了解恋人不可或缺的步骤。
“Traveling is the best form of therapy and when you travel with a partner you learn a lot about that person’s habits and character,” says Flicker.“Then you can make a decision on whether or not you can live with that person’s habits.” So get up and go somewhere — exotic destination not required.“旅行是治疗的最佳方式。和恋人一起旅行的时候，你能够全方位了解对方的习惯和性格。”弗利克说。“然后你可以做出决定自己能否适应他的习惯。”所以行动起来，去旅行——不过并不要求异域风情的旅游景点。16.You don’t have your own life 迷失自己的生活
If you’re always waiting around for him, he has no incentive to get more serious.You don’t need to make him feel like he could lose you, but make sure he knows you have a life.如果你总是围着他转，他就没有更加认真的动机。你不需要让他觉得随时可能失去你，但是一定要让他知道，你有自己的生活。
“You are a needy and that is a complete turnoff,” says Flicker.“A man loves confidence and a woman who is confident is a busy body always planning, attending and living life.If you are not confident then act ‘as if’ because at least that is more attractive than being available and needy!”
“你总是依赖他，这是一个很大的错误。”弗利克说。“男人喜欢信心，也喜欢有信心，忙于计划，参与和融入生活的女性。如果你没有信心，可以表现得好像有信心，因为这样这样至少比唯唯诺诺随叫随到更有吸引力。” 17.Your relationship exists online 网络恋情
It’s fine to meet your partner online, but if you don’t take the next step and meet IRL(in real life)taking another step forward will be even more unlikely to happen.在网上开始一段恋情并无不可，但是如果不采取下一步，在现实中见面，你们的恋情更不可能发展。
“Get out of your room, log off your computer and step outside — there’s a whole world out there!” says Flicker.“Meet real people and actually face them.Look into someone’s eyes and smile at him instead of at your computer screen.” “走出房间，关闭电脑，步入外界——大千世界无比精彩！”弗利克说。“和真人见面，切实地面对他们。直视他们的双眼，真诚地微笑，而不是通过冰冷的电脑屏幕谈情说爱。” 18.You haven’t brought him into your world 未带他进入你的世界
If you’ve shied away from introducing him to friends and family(or he hasn’t brought you around to his)you probably won't be a part of each other’s futures.如果你从来没有把他介绍给你的朋友和家人（或者他从未带你见过他的朋友和家人），你们或许不是对方将来的一部分。
“If you partner has not introduced you to his family and you have been dating for over 6 months, something is wrong,” says Flicker.“He’s not sure about the relationship and this would be the time to say 'take the L outta lover — it's over!'" “如果你们已经交往超过六个月，你的恋人却从未把你介绍给他的家人，那就不太对劲了。”弗利克说。“他对这段恋情不是很确定，是时候告诉他，我不是你的情人——我们结束了。” 19.You avoid fights 避免争吵 If you never expre your true feelings or discu real iues, your relationship will forever be on that polite plane usually reserved for acquaintances.如果你们从未表达真实感受或探讨现实问题，你们的恋情永远都是相敬如宾，不会如胶似漆。“Fighting is eential and healthy in any relationship,” says Flicker.“If you are not fighting then you are not loving.Stop living in a gla bubble and actually feel some emotions because in the end it will only bring you both closer together.And if it doesn’t, then it was not meant to be!”
“争吵是任何一段恋情必要而健康的一部分。”弗利克说。“没有争吵说明没有爱。停止生活在玻璃气泡中，真实地表达情感，因为争吵只会让两人更加亲近。如果适得其反，说明这段恋情本来就不能长久。” 20.He's not financially stable 恋人经济不稳定
If a man doesn't have his act together it can be hard for you to commit to him or for him to feel comfortable bringing your deeper into his life.Have a frank discuion with yourself(and with him)to decide if you’re in it for the long haul.如果男友经济拮据，你很难对他忠诚，他也不会心安理得地让你进入他的生活。跟自己和男友进行开诚布公的讨论，决定你们是否做好了同甘共苦的准备。
“If he is not financially stable, it is going to be tough, but love conquers all, and no one promised us that life was going to be easy,” says Flicker.“All one needs is ambition, drive and determination.Money will follow.How much money? Ask the man above!” “如果他的经济状况不稳定，你们的生活将非常艰难，但是爱可以克服一切困难，而且从未有人承诺我们生活是轻松的。只要有抱负，动力和决心就可以了，钱总是会有的。至于会有多少钱？问你的男友吧！”
